I don’t know what I’m doing - but I’m still doing it anyway
This is the most honest thing I've ever written.
I’m struggling to find my voice, my place, and my purpose in this artistic journey I’ve decided to venture on.
Business has been slower than I would like but I'm doing my best to keep my creative tank full.
I struggle to figure out how to show up authentically as me because quite frankly, do I really know myself?
I struggle to decide where my time and energy should go.
I struggle to decide what next steps to take within my creative career.
The weight of this pressure is suffocating and I'm doing my best not to crumble under this self-inflicted pain.
What I do know is this is where I’m meant to be.
What I do know is this journey is only beginning.
What I do know is that I have to keep going.
What I do know is that I'm not alone in this feeling.
It’s why this newsletter exists - a safe space where I'm allowed to be vulnerable and share that vulnerability with others.
I don’t have to have everything figured out and even as I write this, my mind is flooded with doubts wondering if this is worth sharing.
But the reality of the situation is I don’t need a map to know where I’m heading. My intuition is my guide and she's a pretty good one when I allow her to be.
Eventually, things will get better and this period of uncertainty will pass. I just have to suffer through it till I reach the other side.
I can already feel the sweet relief waiting for me there. It’s so close I can almost taste it.
Till then, I’m going to keep going and show up in places I'm energetically drawn to.
It’s the only thing I know how to do.
Thank you for sharing this. I came to a similar conclusion not long ago. Austin Kleon put this brilliantly: "Make stuff you love and talk about stuff you love and you'll attract people that love that kind of stuff."
That's my plan. Keep making, keep sharing, and one day attract a tribe of people who love the same things.
Keep going. You've got this, even on the days where you feel like you haven't. Authenticity is timeless and will yield it's own rewards in time.
I’m still very new to Substack, but when I initially started I was posting stuff I thought I should post and started to feel really lost and confused and stuck. So I came back to joy.
I repeated daily: I give myself permission to become intimate with joy again. I give myself permission to let joy take the lead.
And then an idea came. An idea that really excited me and made me feel alive and full of possibility and potential.
Yet now I’m feeling flat and exhausted again. I believe I have reached the end of that cycle l, for the idea that came, for now. And now I need to come back to joy again.
Letting joy be my guide clears away all the bullshit 💖
Wishing you the best in your creative endeavours 🙏